Succubus Heat CHAPTER 26

Unfortunately, Roman wasnt entirely joking.What are you doing? I exclaimed when we got back to my apartment. Hed flounced on my couch and promptly grabbed a remote. in that respect was nosign of my car on the street, however if bent had driven it back, Carter-transportation would remove arrived practically to a greater extent quickly.I have nowhere to go, he said mildly. Aubrey strolled turn up from the bedroom and jumped up near to him.You mediocre got amnesty from an archdemon. Thats unheard of for a nephilim. I thought you cherished to vagabond d confess root? Why dont you go get a fanny in the suburbs? Work on your lawn?No wizard wants to live there.I raked my hand through my hair in exasperation and then immediately rearranged it. God, Id miss shape-shifting. If I was red to be damned, I might as well enjoy the perks.You brush asidet stay put here. This place isnt big enough.I dont mind the couch.I prepped myself for a rant, precisely then some atomic number 53 knocked at the door. soula of me hoped it would be readiness, even though that was pretty impossible. There was no immortal signature, which meant my visitor was a human. Yes, Id unquestionably missed my abilities, even if they had strings attached. I opened the door and found Maddie.Hey, she said cheerily.Hey, I said, not certain(a) I matched her enthusiasm. Come in.She stepped through, then faltered when she saw Roman. Oh, Im sorry. I didnt mean to interrupt-Roman hopped up from the couch. No, no. Im just an old friend. Roman. He across-the-board his hand. She shifted some papers she was holding and shook his hand in return. Her smile returned.Im Maddie. Nice to meet you. She turned to me. You got a sec? I was on my way to ladder and wanted to show you something.She handed the papers everywhere to me. They were in-depth reports of the new condo over on Alki Beach. There were detailed price listings, as well as room-by-room photos of one unit in particular. It wasnt fini shed yet. The groundwork was only a foundation, and the drywall wasnt painted. Nonetheless, the pictures were clear and gave a favourable idea of the spacious layout. One picture showed a balcony that opened up to a breathtaking view of the water and the Seattle skyline beyond. It was nix bid what readiness and I had shared, but it was nice.Roman, peering over my shoulder, let out a low whistle. Nice.I elbowed him out of my personal space. Whered you get these?Maddie smiled. You said you were busy, so I went over there myself and talked to the builder. This is the only one left, and they let me go through and take pictures.I jerked my head up. You took all these?I knew how stressed you were and wanted to help. Look, keep going, and you provide manipulate all the options you can tranquillise get. There are the floor choices maple, bamboo, cherryI took a deep breath to steady myself. Maddie hadnt just printed out info for me. After all that searching and fine-tuning, shed in t ruth departed out of her way to assemble an entire dossier on this place, a place Id just been acknowledging at random to make her feel better.Theyve got a realtor on-site, but you can get your own too, she continued. Someone else was just looking at it, but the guy said if you were interested and put a bid in currently, hed consider it along with the other persons.Look, piped in Roman. Two bedrooms.Maddie I swallowed. You shouldnt have done this.She gave me a bothersome look. Why not?It was too a inviolable deal work.Whatever. Besides, after all the stuff youve done for me? Georgina, this is nothing. Are you going to go talk to them? Ill go with you if you want.I sank down onto the couch, flipping through the pages without really comprehending them. Id been angry when she and bent pendant up. I had no right, however. She hadnt known near our past. And if I hadnt been so dead-set on keeping things secret, if she had known hardening and I had dated, I matte up absolutely ce rtain she would have never, ever gotten together with him. Because she was my friend.I felt a burning in my eyes and willed myself not to cry. I didnt entirely know what Id done to be that kind of friendship. She was a good person. She believed the best in me-just as Seth did. In this dark phase, Seth had never given up on me. Both of them were so good, so kind. And at the end of the day, there really wasnt much of that among humans.Carter had said that if there were no other complications in the world, I would be the one Seth chose. nevertheless we did have complications. I windlessness refused to hurt him because of sex, and that problem was now in skillful effect again. Hed thrown himself into danger for me on the beach. There would always be danger with the life I led-danger for him, not me. I wanted him badly, wanted to reestablish what wed had, but if I did, Id only be subjecting him to more of this rollercoaster existence. Id deny him a figure life, a normal love. I coul dnt do that to him, no matter what he said about trying it again.Just because things dont work out, it doesnt mean there arent other people you cant love. jazz is too big a thing for you to go without it in life. At least for humans it was. I wanted Seth and Maddie to have that. I wanted them to have the dream I couldnt have.Maddies expression dumb as she peered at me. Why are you looking at me alike that?I swallowed and gave her smile. Just so far amazed you did all this.Will you go take a look? she asked excitedly.Yeah. I will.This earned me a hug and a smile, and then she had to scurry off to work. I sat back down on the couch, papers still clutched in my hands. Roman sat down opposite me.Youre going to end it, arent you? His join was surprisingly gentle. With Mortensen?Yeah. I mean, I knew we would, but it didnt hit me until just now. We were deluding ourselvescaught up by a episodic situation. They deserve to be with each other, and I shouldnt have done what I did to her. I sighed. Nyx tricked me with the dream. It wasnt real. Without thinking much about it, I rested my hand on my stomach. Even if thered been any dislodge of acquiring fraught(p) while in stasis, it was gone now. It might be real for them, though.Roman looked so pained, so sympathetic that it was hard to imagine he still wanted to kill me. Though I was pretty certain he did. Im sorry, he said. Sorry you cant have your man and your daughter. Im even sorry you cant have your cats.I glanced over at where Aubrey slept, recalling the tortoiseshell cat from the dream. Well, I think shes happier being an only child anyway.Seth showed up later that evening. Roman was mercifully gone, off to buy groceries. No matter my protests, he seemed intent on staying with me. I thought about complaining to Jerome but was pretty sure my boss wouldnt appreciate much(prenominal) a petty concern right now. If he was still even my boss. I was taking no news as good news for now.Seth handed me my car key s as he walked in. Its out behind the building.Thanks.Sorry I took off like that. I didnt want toGod, that was so hard.It was what I wanted, I told him. We stood a couple feet apart, hesitant to get much closer. Im glad you listened to me.I wasnt going to, you know. As soon as I got off the phone with that demon-and let me tell you, that was weird-I was going to head right back, andI dont know. I dont know what I would have done. I would have stood by you.You could have gotten yourself killed.He shrugged, like that was inconsequential. I did actually head back, and thenthen I saw Dante.I crossed my arms, still fearful about approaching him, largely because I was afraid Id throw myself at him. I knew thats what youd done. But why? You dont like him. You know what kind of person he is.Seth nodded. I dont like him, butthey would have killed him, wouldnt they?I thought about Jerome, that cold and barely repressed anger in his eyes. Hed been strong off, and I knew it must have killed hi m to not be able to take his wrath out on Grace. There were taboos about directly harming and interfering with mortals, but well, it wasnt unheard of, and there were always loopholes. He would have gotten in less trouble for it than for smiting Grace.Well, I said, lets just say, they would have at least made him carry considerably.I figured. And I couldnt let that happennot even to him. What he did was wrong-it seriously messed things up for you and put you at risk. But in some bizarre, crazy way, he did it because he loved you. And Im not sure someone should be tortured for that. And Seth studied me carefully. I had a feeling you wouldnt have wanted that.He was right. No matter how much Id been hurt, despite the betrayalI had cared about Dante. I still did a little. God, I have to stop getting involved with unstable men. Where is he now?I dropped him off at his place. He started coming around and was able to walk and everything.If he has any sense, hell be long gone. I think Jerom ell have a long memory.And, sothings are back to normal?I took awhile to answer. Yeah. Im back in full succubus glory.He turned away and began pacing. I knew it would happenknew this was coming, and yetI kept pretending it wouldnt.Me too. I think somewhere in my head, I had this fantasy that I could find Jerome and still be with you.Seth stopped and looked at me. We still can be. I meant what I saidthat I would try againI met his gaze levelly. What about Maddie?II would end it with herDo you love her? My words were blunt. I think I caught him by surprise.Yesbut its different. Different from the way I love you.It doesnt matter, I said. You and I cant be together. If you have a chance to be golden, then you need to take it. We cant do this to her again. Its wrong. She doesnt deserve it.I told you Id end things with her first if we were getting back together. I cant cheat anymore.You cant break up, I said, surprised by the vehemence in my own voice. She loves you. You love her. And af ter what we did to herYou want me to stay with her as some sort of compensation?I balked. Well, nonot exactly. But you guys deserve each other. You deserve to be happy. And you arent ever going to be happy with me. Its going to always be up and down-just like in the beginning.Im starting to think all births are like that, he said wearily. I still dont want to hurt you. I cant stand that-I cant forget what Hugh said, about how that would destroy you. And yetsomething keeps pulling us back. I told you-were never going to be able to stay apart. I knew exactly what he meant, but I didnt say so. I thought ending things before would fix all that, that the short-term pain would be worth the long-term stability. But I was wrong. We just found a whole new set of problems, and Maddies in the middle. Im willing to try againno matter how hard it is.You were right to end it with us, I said harshly. And Im not willing to do it again.He stared at me, shocked. My words were a lie, of course. Part of me wanted to try again, to endure anything to be with him. But I couldnt stop thinking about Maddie. Couldnt stop thinking about the hurt she would go through. It was ironic, really. Last time, hed gone out of his way to hurt me purposely because it was for the greater good. Now I was doing the same for both of them, deliver her from heartache and him from more grief with me. We were in an endless cycle.You cant mean that. I know you cant. His face was a mixture of incredulity and pain.I shook my head. I do. You and me are a disaster. What we did during this stasisit was wrong. It was disgraceful. Immoral. We betrayed someone who loves both of us, who wishes nothing but the best for us. How could we do that? What kind of precedent is that? How could we expect to have a solid relationship that was built on that sort of sordid foundation? One that was built on lies and deceit? expression those words hurt. It was tarnishing the beauty of these precious few days we had, but I neede d to make my case.Seth was silent for several moments as he assessed me. Youre serious.Yes. I was a good liar, good enough that the person who loved me most couldnt tell. Go back to her, Seth. Go back to her and make it up to her.Georgina I could see it, see it hitting him. The full weight of betraying Maddie was sinking in. His nature couldnt ignore the wrong hed done. It was part of his good character, the character that had gone back to save Dante, the character that was going to make him leave me. Again. Hesitantly, he extended his hand to me. I took it, and he pulled me into an embrace. I will always love you.My heart was going to burst. How galore(postnominal) times, I wondered, could I endure this kind of agony? No, you wont, I said. Youll move on. So will I.Seth left not long after that. Staring at the door, I replayed my own words. Youll move on. So will I. In spite of how much he loved me, how much he was willing to risk, I truly felt hed go back to Maddie, that hed belie ve what I said. Id driven home the guilt, made it ruff his love for me.Youll move on. So will I.The unfortunate part about being a good liar, however, was that while I could get other people to believe my words, I didnt believe them myself.